A Definition of "Nice" / "Consider It"

I was trying to think of what to post about next, but it seems life has a way of redirecting your thought processes sometimes. I'm trying to contain a rant, so forgive me if this doesn't come across as deeply philosophical. So, here goes:

There is a girl I know who has a major superiority complex. In keeping with this attitude, she likely believes that we're all too stupid to pick up on this. And yet, no one I know likes her in large part due to her attitude. It's almost palpable at times. I got into yet another altercation with her today--it seems I'm the only one willing to take a stand where she's concerned--and it got me thinking about a couple of things:
1. What is it that makes someone 'nice'?
2. Is common courtesy really such an antiquated notion?


This girl is one of the most talkative people I've ever met. She considers herself to be very 'friendly'. To an extent this is true, but clearly being chattier does not make you a nicer person. Nice people are liked; she is not. But then, what makes someone nice? According to the dictionary:

nice /naɪs/ –adjective
1. pleasing; agreeable; delightful.
2. amiably pleasant; kind.

Hmm, now, to an extent you could call this girl 'nice' with a definition like that, but her niceness is superficial--she's compensating for her air of superiority. I find it interesting that 'kind' is listed as a definition of 'nice', which has a slightly more specific definition:

kind /kaɪnd/ –adjective
1. of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person.
2. having, showing, or proceeding from benevolence.
3. indulgent, considerate, or helpful; humane (often fol. by to).

con·sid·er·ate /kənˈsɪdərɪt/ –adjective
1. showing kindly awareness or regard for another's feelings, circumstances, etc.

And my own personal favourite definition of considerate: you 'consider it', 'it' being another person's feelings. If by the thread of definition, 'nice' people are generally thought of as kind and considerate, thereby making them typically helpful and aware of things/people outside of themselves, then this girl is not 'nice'. This ties well into my issue with whether courtesy is relevant in the present or become an antiquated notion.

The reason for the altercation was over a minor issue, but it was a courtesy and cooperation issue. We needed the same general area and she decided to block my access to the space. I thought perhaps this was due to a lack of awareness (I can forgive obliviousness) and told her I would need to share the space a bit longer and it made more sense for her to allow free access by both of us by simply moving the object she had placed in the way. This would have been no problem, but she argued with me; essentially only to say that her needs were more important than mine. They weren't. We were doing the same thing in the same area, our needs were equal.

Courtesy seems like a dying art almost, and yet it is what makes social interaction a pleasant experience. It's a sign of respect. It makes the other person feel goodand, in turn, yourself. Courtesy is more likely to be reciprocated than initiated, so even if you're selfish, it's in your own best interests because people will generally be nicer and more helpful in return to your kindness. Also, if you're wanting to make a good impression on someone, being 'nice' or courteous is going to help you in that endeavour.

I know a lot of this sounds utterly simple and obvious, but having dealt with this girl and others like her, it proves to me that not everyone understands. Being perceived as 'nice' is somewhat dependent on courtesy and respect. Having a superior air about yourself is not the way to gain friends, but enemies. Humility is underrated, even in the church apparently--because this girl is deeply religious, but not even close to being humble.

I think one of the nicest things people can do for one another is to simply listen to one another. Genuinely listen, not just pretending to pay attention while you wait for your turn to talk.

Agree? Disagree? Want to add your 2 cents? Leave a message.