Letting Go of the Past

I find it interesting that people can be so contradictory. Seemingly mature and responsible, but yet unable to take responsibility for themselves emotionally. Claiming to be happy with where they are in the present yet complain almost constantly about something from their past that they wish had never happened. It seems like a contradiction in terms to me because, without that past that you so despise, you would not be where you are now. So, which is the lie? If you really are content with the present, then the only thing to do is to reconcile your feelings regarding your past.

I sincerely feel that there should be a statute of limitations on how long you can complain about something from your past. It helps no one if you continue to harp on something that you cannot change, especially not yourself. I understand the need to vent, to rant, to complain, to even work through your issues by talking about it (often repeatedly). That's not the kind of thing I'm referring to. Rather, it's when someone is figuratively banging their head against a wall instead of moving forward. There is a point where complaining is no longer appropriate and action needs to be taken.

I've grown up knowing the definition of 'crazy' to be this:

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." -Albert Einstein

I think that point of too much complaining and not enough problem solving is a perfect example of this quote. I've known people who do this for a long period of time. They are dissatisfied with something in their lives, either their present or their past and yet refuse to do anything to change the intolerable situation. I find it hard to be sympathetic to their plight once it becomes apparent that they are not doing anything to help themselves.

It all comes down to the fact that you are in charge of your life. You can change what is wrong in your life. Some things are easier to change than others... like your past. There is nothing you can do to change the past, except the way you view it. It seems so many people get stuck on something. Something they wish they could change, something they wish had never happened. People get wrapped up in regret....

But I don't believe in regret. I don't think it helps us. I think it hinders growth, it holds us back. And it's a good thing I don't believe in regret either, because I would have a lot to regret if I did. My past remains in the past where it should stay. It doesn't mean it's gone, it doesn't mean I've forgotten it. It just means that I don't let it hold me back from moving forward in my life.

As I told a friend in a letter a few months back:

Learn to let things go. There are a lot of hurts in life. I know, I've had my fair share. Letting go does not mean the hurt entirely goes away, but it does mean you can move on without carrying so much weight. You will cry less, I can almost guarantee it. It also doesn't mean you entirely forget all the hurts, but rather find a way to not dwell on them, to loosen their hold on your heart. If you hang onto every hurt (big or small), think how much harder it will be to cope ten years from now when the hurts have multiplied.

 I sincerely hope that anyone who reads this can learn to let go of whatever is holding them back in their life.